is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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