so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
