you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize