I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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