I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
