I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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