You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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