I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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