Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Hippo gnu deer
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
its liver damage thursday
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
