stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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