I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
