Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
