Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
