I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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