Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
