no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
