it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
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It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
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Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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