Say something about gay babies.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
