drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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