I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?