She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
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we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
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What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.