he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.