i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling