It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
