it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
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Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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