Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
