Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
