i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
