I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
