We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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