I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
