Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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