so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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