I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
