I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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