Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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