I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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