Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
