i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
