my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
