He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
