AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
