If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
