my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
drinking out of a sandbucket again
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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