I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
