thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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