i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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