Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
