You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
