Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
