I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
