I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP