I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
