he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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