yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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