There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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