Got a toothbrush?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Four minutes until I can fart!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smell my finger.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize