You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
