if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
