but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
