Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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