absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
