She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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