Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
