I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
