i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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