I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
