Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
