She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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